An internet poster commented on a recent picture of Spears’ baby and wrote (I'm not gonna lie, I laughed hysterically when I read the following):

“Sean Preston has been inhaling too much of his daddy's fumes, that poor baby always looks high. estellegetty 2006-03-04 11:10 pm”:

Britney Spears's son was heard singing "Because I Got High" by Afroman (just kidding, that poor baby)

Upon hearing the news that Spears may have been pregnant again, Comedian Jay Leno said:

"Two babies is going to make it trickier than ever for her to drive the car. She may have to strap one kid to the roof rack"

Britney And Kevin Captions

Britney: "I thought the baby was with you"
Kevin: "I thought the baby was with you":

Britney: "Wow, look at little Sean do that summersault off the balcony. Do you think it's safe?"
Kevin: "Huh? Did you say something?":

Britney and Kevin: "Do you think they can see us":

Britney: "Like, totally, for sure, we're gonna pose for y'all, but, like, be totally natural, you know":

Britney: "Are you sure my forehead doesn't look like E.T.?"
Kevin: "Be quiet Britney, I have a wedgie.":

Sugababe Tells On K-Fed 

More on Britney Spears’ husband Kevin Federline…

Last month, he was seen and photographed by the press, inappropriately holding a French actress:

This month, a British singer, Keisha Buchanan came forward and said Federline has a wandering eye:

“Buchanan is quoted as saying, "Kevin gave me a 'look' and Britney just grabbed his arm and pulled him in close to her."

“Buchanan is very similar in looks to Federline's ex-love, Shar Jackson.” - Post Chronicle

K-Fed Is K-Black

Kevin Federline has clearly been influenced by black culture. His ex-girlfriend is black. Both his kids with her are half black. He wears cornrows and speaks Ebonix (Dude is blacker than J.J. on Good Times).

While he can rap, too many things he raps about leaves him open for jokes, and his record will never be taken seriously based on the fact that he became famous from marrying Britney Spears, after having been her back up dancer and leaving his girlfriend while she was pregnant with his second child.

That wasn’t going to K-fly with the public.

K-Fed’s Planned August 2006 Album

Kevin Federline put out a press release announcing his forthcoming album. Normal so far. But K-Fed expects great things of the record in terms of public reaction. Now, I’m not a pessimist, but…

K-Fed deduced that after all the disses he’s received so far that it can’t get any worse:

“Sure, there'll be initial shock and awe," he said. "But they've already said so much . . . about me, it can't get worse."

Dude, trust me, I read the internet everyday…it can get worse.

They are yearning for your album like Osama is yearning for a dialysis machine, but in your case, for unhealthy reasons – they want to tear you up.

Side bar: Is there anywhere to plug in a dialysis machine in a cave? Just asking.

In response to K-Fed’s press release which stated, “The inspiration and meaning behind the title ... is self explanatory, (because) my album is sure to set the dance floors across the world on fire!"

The IDLYITW blog wrote:

"If by that he means the people on the dance floor are going to storm the DJ booth and set fire to the DJ, then he's probably right.”

Jinxed Britney Spears Steps On Hypodermic Needle

My recommendation last month was BUY A CAR SEAT; this month it’s BUY SOME SHOES. Stop being such a hobo, Britney.

What makes this story worse is people thought she was pregnant. Pregnant woman stepping on a hypodermic needle, not a good thing.

What’s next? Slip, fall and her nose lands on some coke. 

“HIV Scare for Britney: Britney Spears Steps on Hypodermic Needle Barefoot. Britney Spears, preggers or not, now has something more to worry about.  The former pop tart has reportedly stepped on a carelessly discarded hypodermic needle barefoot in a parking lot in Hawaii. A report from the UK claims the needle broke the skin and was sticking out of her foot.” – National Ledger

Boy those Kabbalah strings/bracelets to allegedly ward off evil and trouble sure aren’t working, are they.

Could it be in life that when people do wicked things to others (you know, like the Kabbalah cult does regularly) or make careless, self-centered choices, pay attention Britney, as this is you - when people do stupid things, stupid things happen that can ruin their life i.e. walking around barefoot stepping on hypodermic needles and using your child as an airbag.

“Brit's hospital trip - Poor old Britney Spears has had a hard time of it lately, but things are getting no better - she has been rushed to hospital in Hawaii.

According to reports, Brit cut her foot on a hypodermic needle when she jumped out of her car barefoot to pop into the shops.

The new mum was apparently deeply shaken by the incident with all sorts of visions going through her mind about where the needle came from…

Maybe the singer will think about joining the rest of us humans by wearing shoes when she goes out and about.” – ITV London

Britney Spears Reportedly Losing Her Hair

In last month’s Column I awarded Britney the “Most Obvious Hair Extensions” Award. Last month I also wrote about stress causing hair loss under the Health section of the Column.

This month several papers and magazines reported that Britney Spears is allegedly losing her hair due to stress, while Us Weekly dissed her hair extensions:

Britney looks so much older in that pic. Stress has aged her 10 years.

“Britney Spears is so stressed about her pop comeback her hair is allegedly falling out.” – Life Style Extra

Let’s not forget the constant hair bleaching. Oh, the hair bleaching. Yea, you keep following Madonna bleaching and dying your hair every five minutes, instead of at normal intervals, and see where it gets you:

I guess someone didn’t read my hair care article on the site regarding over bleaching and hair dying (some people who visit the site from “major labels,” are too busy stealing/committing copyright infringement, to read little things like that).

Both Madonna and Spears have receding hairlines. They look like E.T. with those foreheads.

And it’s thanks to the constant bleaching, hair dying and hair color changing.

CELEBRITY Paris Hilton  

Paris Hilton’s Restraining Order Terms

Paris Hilton restrained from the man she threatened, but not from the Plastic Surgery center

Paris Hilton was recently slapped with a restraining order after harassing and threatening the life of a Los Angele party promoter. The terms of the restraining order have now been revealed:

"I have no problem being in the same room with her if she can demonstrate that she knows how to behave like a young lady." 

Quintana testified last month that his relationship with Hilton turned nasty after she overheard him informing her beau, Stavros Niarchos, that she might have a sexually transmitted disease.

"I wanted him to be aware of it--that she had herpes. To make sure he didn't catch anything. He informed me that he was [aware]," Quintana said. He said Hilton interrupted his conversation with Niarchos and became "furious."

"She said, 'This is between the three of us; if this gets out you're a f---ing dead man,'" Quintana said. He claimed that after the exchange, he began receiving suspicious phone calls and started to believe his life was in "imminent danger."

Quintana further alleged Hilton "has a drug and alcohol problem, some rather shady associates and is known for erratic behavior." - Los Angeles' City News Service

The line, "I wanted him to be aware of it--that she had herpes” probably sent scores of men (uh, and women) rushing to the clinic in a panic. The clinic was probably booked solid that day…for weeks.

If Paris insists on sleeping with half the population, maybe the Center For Disease Control should adopt some sort of advisory warning, similar to what the National Weather Center does to inform of impending storms. 

Paris Theron…I Don’t Think So

“Hilton Issues Warning To Theron: "My acting coach told me I have a similar style of acting to her so we may end up vying for the same parts. Somehow, we don't think Theron is too concerned with the threat."  

You see boys and girls, this is why you shouldn’t do drugs. It will cause you to say things like this.

You know Charlize Theron cried when she read that. No, not for fear of competition, but for fear that the general public may think her acting is like Paris Hilton’s.

Note to Charlize Theron: Not to worry dear. That was the crack talking.

Note to Paris Hitlon’s acting coach: you would make a fortune selling insurance. How did you do that. You’re clearly quite an actor yourself. A veritable little thespian you are.

This just in, Paris Hilton was named “Worst Supporting Actress” at the Golden Raspberry Awards this month. Charlize Theron my butt.

Paris Hilton Slammed By Vanity Fair Editor

“Socialite Paris Hilton was banned from Vanity Fair's annual post-Oscar party on Sunday night, after being blacklisted by the magazine's editor Graydon Carter. Carter says, ‘Paris who? She will never attend one of the parties I host.’ Hilton's former friend Nicole Richie was allowed in and partied with another of the heiress' rivals Mischa Barton.” – Yahoo

Then when she did get into an Oscar Party, Elton John’s Charity Party to raise funds for A.I.D.S. charities, she reportedly didn’t donate, which allegedly left Elton fuming. Well, there’s one she won’t be able to sleep her way out of.

Speaking of socialite…is a socialite a real job. Can you write that off in your taxes.

Paris Hilton Slammed By Josh Harnett

Paris Hilton was slammed by actor Josh Harnett:

“What scares me with pop culture is that people are starting to think that's the way they should be.

"Looking at my younger brother and sister and their friends, seeing my little sister's friends looking, like, to Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, I just don't think that's anything to strive for.

"I don't think those girls are too happy. And it's like the culture is so focused on a more self-oriented, kind of luck-based mentality. It's just like: ‘Get what's good for you.’" – Ireland On Line

Ok, I think that pretty much hit the nail on the head.

Paris Slammed By Singer Cisco Adler

"Has Paris nothing better to do than party and row with people? At least Misch has a job. She's a respected actress, what's Hilton got going for her?" - Cisco Adler

Paris’ 2006 Album

I’m waiting to hear that album, especially with Warner Bros releasing it. Maybe I’ll do a track-by-track review for the Column if the record is what I think it is based on rumors going around Miami about the content. Someone I know quite well told me something about that record. 

Paranoid Paris

“Paranoia caused Paris Hilton to finish with Stavros Niarchos…Stavros was with a Greek friend, and Paris was freaking out because she couldn’t understand what they were saying. She thought they were laughing at her.” - Femaletastic

Ok then. Well, at least she’s not smoking crack.

Speaking of crack…

CELEBRITY Pete Doherty Arrested Again

I wrote about singer Pete Doherty two months ago in this Column. Fast forward 2 months and he has been arrested again, on March 7, 2006, on seven counts of drug possession.

He was also arrested in March for being involved in the theft of a car.

Two months ago when I wrote about it, the judge had sentenced him to two weeks in jail, but shortly after his lawyer struck a deal for him to do community service, thus escaping jail time. Weeks after, he was arrested again for drug possession.

He’d have been better off in jail like the judge originally sentenced him to. He needs some time to really dry out or he is gonna end up overdosing. That would be sad.

During a recent interview with Rolling Stone at a drug house, sadly Doherty was seen using a variety of drugs:

“He spent hours taking crack, heroin and ecstasy, according to reports in New York. He does all of this casually, and openly, except for the shooting up, which he performs near the kitchenette, with his back to us,” writes Rolling Stone scribe Mark Binelli.

“He offers me heroin and ecstasy but not crack. I decline. The more drugs Doherty does, the more he seems to relax. He never becomes incoherent, though occasionally he seems confused.” – Ireland On Line

His drug habit has really consumed him and serious intervention is needed.

New Charges and Pleadings

“Doherty, the former boyfriend of Kate Moss, was accused of seven charges of possessing heroin, crack cocaine and cannabis when he was stopped by police in east London on two occasions in December and January. He pleaded guilty to all charges.

Pete faced a judge again on charges, who “warned Doherty: "All options remain open as far as sentence is concerned, including committal to the crown court for sentence." – The Guardian

Kicked Reporter

Pic courtesy of the AP

“He appeared to kick a BBC Radio One reporter in the arm, sending a microphone flying through the air. He then ran down the street pursued by a group of reporters before climbing into his Jaguar and nearly colliding with a car as he drove away at high speed.” - The Guardian  

CELEBRITY Michael Douglas’ Dig @ Pitt Jolie

Michael, who according to Paris Hilton has a “weird Greek name like Douglas” made a statement about Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie in a real did-he-just-say-that moment:  

“I don't know about Brad Pitt, leaving that beautiful woman (Aniston) to go hold orphans for Angelina. I mean how long is that going to last?” – Michael Douglas

CELEBRITY Photog Who Harassed Actress And Her Kids Found Dead

Reese Witherspoon, who has officially set the record as the highest paying actress, earning $29,000,000 dollars for her next film, had been stalked and harassed by a photog, Todd Wallace, who cornered her and her children at an amusement park, shouted obscenities at them and struck one of her children’s little friends, was recently found dead in his apartment. An apparent suicide:

“A paparazzo who was charged with battery and child endangerment after attempting to get a photo of Reese Witherspoon and her children at a Disney theme park has been found dead.

When the group declined to be photographed, Wallace became enraged, shoving one child and hitting another with his camera in an attempt to get shots of the star.

Two theme park employees attempted to restrain the irate photographer, and he reportedly struck them, while cursing at Witherspoon and causing some of the children to burst into tears.” - Hollywood

MODELING Valerie Campbell

Can you believe that Naomi Campbell’s mother, Valerie, is 61 years old. She looks much younger than that:

AWARD SHOWS The Oscars

Best Quote: “Three Six Mafia 1 Oscar, Martin Scorsese 0” – Jon Stewart

That was hilarious and strangely profound at the same time. Tell the truth, many white Old School Hollywood people in the front looked terrified when gangsta rap group Three Six Mafia won.

I thought it was hilarious. Why? cause in last month’s Column I made two pimp jokes and it turned out the proceeding month would be the month of the pimp, as the song they won with is called “It’s Hard Out There For A Pimp.” The title of the song became the talk of many a TV show and punch line.

Black people and Kevin Federline (who may technically be a Negro) we’ve got to give up the pimping. The pimping must cease, people.

Crash Crashed Brokeback’s Party

Many publicly predicted Brokeback would sweep the Oscars, but truthfully, it was a film swept up in hype.

Turns out Brokeback got Brokebacked. It lost the best picture Oscar, which is considered the best. The film “Crash” won:

“LOS ANGELES - The ensemble drama "Crash" pulled off one of the biggest upsets in Academy Awards history, winning best picture Sunday over the cowboy romance "Brokeback Mountain," which had been the front-runner.” – Associated Press

The writer of the story, which the screenplay was based on, the manly Annie Proulx, blew a gasket when she found out they lost. Well, aren’t you a gracious loser.

Girlfriend cussed everybody off that had anything to do with Brokeback getting shafted. 

Annie Proulx

“The people connected with Brokeback Mountain, including me, hoped that, having been nominated for eight Academy awards, it would get Best Picture as it had at the funny, lively Independent Spirit awards the day before.

(If you are looking for smart judging based on merit, skip the Academy Awards next year and pay attention to the Independent Spirit choices.) We should have known conservative heffalump academy voters would have rather different ideas of what was stirring contemporary culture.” – Annie Proulx in The Guardian

It was not “stirring contemporary culture.” Search the net, it was the butt of countless jokes. It was stirring the doo doo.

“And rumor has it that Lions Gate inundated the academy voters with DVD copies of Trash - excuse me - Crash a few weeks before the ballot deadline.” – Annie Proulx in The Guardian

While I agree that Lion’s Gate is trash (wait, that wasn’t what she said was it – I still think so though) to call a film about racism “Trash” sends a nasty message to black people.

It also sends the foul message that you deem gay issues more important than racism issues.

It also lends the impression that gay people in Hollywood will kick, cuss, scratch, scream, degrade and insult when they don’t get their way.

Further racially offensive statements:

“Next year we can look to the awards for controversial themes on the punishment of adulterers with a branding iron in the shape of the letter A, runaway slaves, and the debate over free silver.” - Annie Proulx in The Guardian

As a black person, that was just plain offensive. It’s one thing to get mad because your sodomy film lost, but must you deride black people as well.

“There came an atrocious act from Hustle and Flow, Three 6 Mafia's violent rendition of "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp", a favorite with the audience who knew what it knew and liked. This was a big winner, a bushel of the magic gold-coated gelded godlings going to the rap group.” – Annie Proulx in The Guardian

Girl, if I didn’t know better I’d say you don’t like black people.

“'Brokeback' writer accuses Academy of discrimination.” - Times of India

Let me get this straight. The Academy discriminated in letting a mostly black film win?

On a more hilarious note, this writer just completely dissed everything about the Oscar show. Here are a few excerpts:

“The only good part of this horrid spectacle was that "Brokeback Mounting," the much-lauded memorial to gay cowboys and amorous sheep, received only three Oscars...and only one of those mattered.

This was good, as most of the skinny actors in the crowd couldn't afford to lose yet another lunch.

The transsexual epic "Trans-America" was pretty much shut out as well. A question here; is Felicity Huffman, the star of that alleged movie, a man or a woman or both? I can't tell.

Pitiful...just pitiful. Embarrassing as this is, the 78th Annual Academy Awards Oscars was viewed by over one billion people around the globe. And we wonder why the rest of the planet views America as a pack of idiots.” - Ron Marr, Axcess News U.S.

“With 6,188 voting members of the Academy, if 20% of them abstained from voting that would remove 1,238 votes from the mix and leave just 4,950 to determine the outcome. In a race where every vote typically counts, that alone could dramatically alter the results.” – Gulf News

Wait a minute. You mean the Academy Awards are decided by only 6,188 voters. Ok, more people voted for William Hung on American Idol. The Academy needs more voters, as that is too few.

GLADD To Mad!

Gay people in Hollywood went from Gladd to mad! They rigged the awards and it still came out wrong.

Just kidding (hey, even I laughed at that one).

Brokeback The Butt Of Jokes

“There's been a fair amount of talk about Brokeback being a breakthrough, but that's nonsense. A check of Brokeback parodies on Google should convince anyone with half a brain that the American pop culture is intent on passing this passionate, well-meant, and well-made movie like a kidney stone. And how does the American pop culture pass what it cannot stand? Easy. It laughs that s--- right out of its system.” - EW

LOL!

“Brokeback” director Ang Lee, who won the directing prize, said he hadn’t a clue why the film didn’t take the best-picture award. “They didn’t vote for it,” he said. “I don’t know. You asked me one question, and I don’t know the answer.”

But his brother had an opinion. Lee Kang, speaking in Tapei, suggested American bias was involved. “When the locals are voting, they will have this, whether you call it nationalism or something else,” he said.” -MSNBC

No, in all sincerity, it was the gay thing. It had nothing to do with nationalism or patriotism. After all, Ang Lee won Best Director. That movie looked gayer than Liberace in a women’s shoe store.

Crash Landing

Most of the top films pushed, not watched by the public, but pushed by Hollywood, as there is a difference, were gay films (Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Transamerica and The Constant Gardener).  These films got most of the nominations and awards – meanwhile I don’t know anyone who has seen any of those films, Christian or Non-Christian, black or white.

Hollywood truly took its We-Know-What-Art-Is-And-You-The-Audience-Don’t too far.

In the press gay writers trying to build a buzz for the nominated gay films called it a cultural phenomenon. And in ways they are right -it is – as the punch line to many a joke (on morning TV, late night TV, in schools, universities, malls and caves in the Middle East ect).

Then Hollywood got mad and started asking people to stop making Brokeback Mountain jokes. More Hollywood spin:

“What some insiders are saying privately is that many Academy members felt so threatened by "Brokeback's" gay cowboy romance they couldn't bring themselves to view it even on DVD.” – Hollywood Reporter

Straight people don’t like watching dudes kiss each other. It has nothing to do with “feeling so threatened.” Once again, for straight people, it creates an involuntary gag to watch men kissing each other and doing other things of that nature.

It is something within straight people that literally creates a feeling of unpleasantness, as it goes against our nature.

Each person has the right to vote for whatever film they like. Me personally, I hadn’t seen any of the best picture nominees. Crash did sound interesting based on it confronting racism which would appeal to me, you know, with me being a negro and all, but it looked violent and I don’t like Lion’s Gate, so I hadn’t seen it either.

Oscar Host

It was announced the next day that ratings for the telecast were down 10 percent. Well, I don’t think it was because of Jon Stewart.

While he and I don’t see eye to eye politically (or literally, dude is like 4 inches taller than me), he was funny.

- Aisha laughing again at the Three 6 Mafia/ Martin Scorsese joke-.

I think some people didn’t watch the show, because from a distance everything looked, well, gay.

Most of the hype in the press was for gay movies that managed to snag loads of nominations (hmm I wonder how that happened) and it looked like that was all there was to the show – gay films.

It is not that people were being homophobic as gay activists love to claim, many people just don’t watch gay movies. It’s just not their cup of tea. I am one of them, as I don’t want to watch dudes kissing each other:

“ABC is in for a "Crash" landing in the Oscar ratings. The Academy Awards were down 10 percent from last year's ceremony, based on preliminary Nielsen Media Research ratings from the nation's 55 biggest markets. If the full national ratings follow suit later Monday, this year's ceremony will likely be the second least-watched Oscars telecast behind 2003, when "Chicago" won best picture.” - Forbes

Hollywood seems to finally notice that most people think tinseltown have morals straight out of the pit of hell, as only Satan could come up with some of the stuff that goes on in Hollywood. Glad they finally noticed, as it has gotten to a critical point.

Wanna know how many new movies I saw last year…1.

I was not very taken with what was being released in the theatres. Granted, I bought quite a lot of DVDs (however, most of them were not released last year, but prior to). Most of the films released last year just weren’t that compelling.

Hollywood pushed its gay agenda so much that it turned off the rest of the country. The world is not gay, as much as Hollywood would like it to be. There are many, many straight people in the world too. Where did the straight movies go on the ballots.

The industry is not rewarding excellence. It rewards homosexualizing that benefits its executives and stars alternative lifestyles. It rewards political bashing that benefits its liberal views.

"All right, so I'm not winning director," the first-time winner joked, adding that an Oscar always would be synonymous with his name from then on, including in his obituary. ‘Oscar winner George Clooney, sexiest man alive 1997, Batman, died today in a freak accident.’

We are a little bit out-of-touch in Hollywood. I think that's probably a good thing. We are the ones who talked about AIDS when it was only being whispered … We talked about civil rights … This group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the back of theatres…I'm proud to be part of this Academy, proud to be part of this community, proud to be 'out of touch." - George Clooney

But Hollywood is still robbing black people. I am proof of that, so I really don’t buy that. This isn’t a personal attack on Clooney, but rather on Hollywood.

I am still “in the back of the theatre” and robbed of millions in intellectual property I authored that was criminally stolen by your friend you reportedly dined with after winning the Oscar, miscreant Madonna and her mischievous partners/pals in Hollywood.

My works were authored by the Grace of God, and stolen by the hands of devils - your colleagues.

And there are others out there just like me who have been mugged by your disgraceful institution of thieves, miscreants and crooks A/K/A Hollywood, that you claim have done so much for blacks. I can and will testify otherwise.

Myself, my family and the government in my homeland are left bewildered at the misconduct that has transpired at my expense and that of my family, as their civil rights have been violated right along with mine via invasion of privacy, in Madonna and co’s, greed, immoral quest to criminally steal and use my copyrighted catalog of over 5,000 songs, dozens of film scripts and synopsises and over a dozen book manuscripts.

Please, tell me, how is this conduct from your colleagues helping black people, as from where we’re standing, it certainly looks the opposite.

Wasn’t Slavery Abolished?

Please tell me, how this thoroughly illegal, criminal misconduct that one can only equate with SLAVERY, in stealing and using millions of dollars in intellectual property of 20 years of my labor, labor which you clearly deem is free and to be criminally exploited, terrorizing, harassing and invading my family’s privacy and our home, physically attacking me, and disgracefully corrupting the U.S. Judicial System in the eyes of the watching world and governments thereof, was pro-black people and an acceptable enterprise.

Note to Hollywood: Lincoln, a Republican, outlawed slavery in 1865.

Yet in 2006 Hollywood is still observing and utilizing slavery.

Hollywood, do read the following and let it sink into your devious minds:

Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation. - The Constitution of the United States of America, Amendment XIII - Slavery Abolished. Ratified December 6, 1865.

Ladies and Gentlemen, against my will, I am the equivalent of a modern day slave, and it is solely because of Madonna and co and her cronies in Hollywood, who she criminally sold my work to in exchange for money and acting advancement.

Under the above cited law, you are no longer allowed to financially and or physically abuse black people – it wasn’t enough to just criminally steal millions in copyrighted works from me, I was also choked on the way to court last year by a thuggish man regurgitating things at me I’d previously, privately said over the phone – only to find out one month after I filed my lawsuit that this was done to many people who were outspoken enemies of Madonna’s lawyer, Bert Fields, and his celebrity clients.

See October 19, 2005 excerpt from the New York Times in the last Sound Off Column, which details how this perverse habit of spewing people’s private, but amazingly wiretapped, telephone conversations back at them verbatim was used as a sick form of harassment and intimidation.

Hollywood And The IRS (Internal Revenue Service)

You know what’s ironic. When these stolen, copyright infringing projects flop (the movies American Dreamz, Material Girls and Valentine’s Day) and some have already (Confessions On A Dance Floor, Can I Live), they are going to be sending in personal and corporate tax returns to the IRS to write off massive losses from their criminal conduct, which means the government will end up footing the bill. 

“Too Liberal”

"A lot of people say this town is too liberal, out of touch with mainstream America ... a modern day, beachfront Sodom and Gomorrah, a moral black hole where innocence is obliterated in an endless orgy of sexual gratification and greed ... I just thought you should know a lot of people are saying that." - Jon Stewart

So long as they know many in and out of the country think Hollywood is full of heathen swine, because somehow I don’t think they realized that.

Hollywood has covered all the crime bases – heterophobes, murders, thieves, burglars, hackers, wiretappers, extortionists, xenophobes, sexual harassers, racists, bigots, sexists, child molesters, pedophiles, fraudsters, morality haters ect…and that’s just the celebrities.

But at least you’re thorough. I’ll give you that much.

Liberalism

Hollywood loves to tout liberalism. They did it at the Oscars.

After hearing this, once again, during the Oscar telecast, I took a look at the list of Defendants in my case, and they are all liberal. Is this what liberalism breeds:

Liberally stealing federally and internationally protected copyrighted works valued at millions that doesn’t belong to you and making millions off it in criminal profit in violation of U.S. and U.N. law.

Liberally corrupting the judicial system in front of the watching world, to cover your tracks and suppress your willful civil and criminal violations of domestic and international law from being heard in court a court of law.

Liberally harassing, threatening and stalking innocent people as a means to discourage them to keep silent and not file suit against you for your criminal misconduct.

Liberally invading people’s human and civil rights in clear, open violation of United Nations laws.

Liberally and perversely wiretapping innocent people in clear, open violation of United Nations laws.

Liberally trying to bankrupt innocent people and their families, who you deem enemies and rivals.

Liberally harassing, terrorizing and breaking into the homes of innocent people who publicly speak out against you and go to the authorities.

Liberally blacklisting while robbing innocent writers you seek to hold down, so you can criminally take what they have for your own companies.

Wow, who knew liberalism had so much in common with communism. Look it up, if you think I’m kidding.

And is there any wonder why I voted conservative in the last election.

Hollywood Is Always Quick To Point The Finger

Hollywood is always quick to point the figure at other people, but is never willing to turn that finger around on itself.

Why not make movies on how you corrupt the judiciary/judicial system on a regular basis to get your criminal copyright infringement cases tossed, out of court, so you can go back to making millions and billions in criminal profit, in violation of U.S. and United Nations laws at innocent, hard working people’s expense, which now numbers in the thousands, as you have done this criminal act, that many times to that many people.

Why not make movies on your sick celebrity cults like the Kabbalah cult and Scientology cult that have broken into many people’s homes, fleeced innocent people out of millions of dollars, wiretapped innocent members of the public and caused the deaths of many innocent people.

Why not make movies on how Hollywood discriminates against Christians in ways that are unlawful.

Why not make movies on how Hollywood regularly steals billions in copyrights then has the gall to lecture the rest of the world on politicians who steal from the people, when Hollywood has turned it into an art form, complete with bribing officials. That’s ladling it on pretty thick (and hypocritically), don’t you think.

Why not make movies on how you turn innocent kids from small towns into STD ridden sex objects and full-blown addicts.

Why not make movies on how male perverts/execs in Hollywood casting couch those same young hopefuls, some opting for both young men and women young enough to be their kids.

The people in Sodom and Gomorrah will get into heaven before the current lot in Hollywood will and for those of you that don’t know the background on that historic story, the people from Sodom and Gomorrah aren’t getting into heaven.

Therefore, Hollywood needs to change its ways or they won’t have a chance in hell - literally.

Memo From The World To Hollywood: You Stink

“Hollywood values out of touch, poll says. MSNBC.com/Zogby survey shows readers think quality of movies in decline.

Movie fans believe Hollywood's values are not in line with the rest of America and that the quality of movies has diminished in recent years, according to the results of an MSNBC.com/Zogby International poll.” - MSNBC

I have been saying that on here for two years. Hollywood is living in its own sick little bubble. Now the fruits of it are showing with big sales declines in not only film, but music as well, as they have now gone too far.

I don’t know about you, but why buy something you can get for free in the toilet. And that’s what a lot of these projects coming out of Hollywood are…doo-doo.

BAD JOURNALISM Lloyd Grove

Apparently the L in Lloyd stands for liar and loser:

“I always give Aretha Franklin R.E.S.P.E.C.T., so here's her response to Tuesday's item about a Washington dinner at which she allegedly tampered with the seating chart to flirt with Terrence Howard:

"I did not tamper with anything. … He was not embarrassed by my statement ['He sure is fine'], as 40 million women are saying the same thing...He is intelligent enough to have been flattered, and that was visible to all. Furthermore, for your tacky and trite little column...I'm not 63!" To quote another diva, I heard it through the grapevine.

Stop lying. You are that diva. You quoted yourself. 

Basically, you made up a story that Aretha Franklin did something she didn’t. Please acknowledge that. That you are a liar. You stated it as fact to your readers the day before – when it was a lie you’d made up.

Why don’t you just quit, already. As this stuff doesn’t come across as amusing, it looks pathetic on your part inventing stories. Your credibility is gone. Not that a gossip columnist would have credibility to begin with… 

BAD JOURNALISM Roger Friedman

Roger, Roger, Roger. You did it again. I never have to search to find something to write about concerning your bad journalism, it pops up prominently in newsreels:

“Attorney Thomas Mesereau has released a statement disputing recent reports about his departure as legal counsel for Michael Jackson.

Fox 411’s Roger Friedman wrote that Mesereau and his partner Susan Yu, who successfully defended Jackson against child molestation charges last June, have resigned as the singer’s attorneys because they haven’t been paid by the pop star.

Without naming Friedman, Mesereau fired back in a statement yesterday (Feb. 23) saying he is “very disturbed by the false, erroneous, and self-serving reports” regarding his employment for Jackson, which he maintains was always supposed to be temporary.” – Eurweb.com

So, you basically got it wrong again…and got publicly outed for it as well. 

Roger was in turn slammed by the public and called a liar who fabricates stories. Some public feedback from said site:

1. If Mijac were to die I guess Roger Friedman would be out of a job *smirk* - beboyz

2. I'm so glad Mesereau released that statement. It's getting sickening how the media is constantly going after this man by spreading these malicious rumors and trying to bring him down. He left the US to find some peace and yet they still harass him. - Winn30344

3. Roger Friedman FABRICATES ALL of his stories. Roger Friedman should stop all the lies he writes about Michael Jackson. Roger Friedman should be FIRED, because he is a LIAR ,and he cannot be TRUSTED. Keep in mind ALL of Roger Friedman stories are ALL fabricated. – eddie

4. MsMo I hope your information is accurate cause in civil court you have to answer questions that are not always allowed in criminal court which would cause Friedman and all the ones like him to come up with supporting documents, corroborating witnesses and some more s*** to back up all the stories he's caused to be in print! Go get'em MiJac. - McNasty

5. Guess what y’all? Michael Jackson has filed suit against every member of the media who has slandered and/or defamed him, all at the same time!!! HaHA!!! I wonder who is gonna be left to report that story??? Just kidding, but that would be a really good story ;-) On a positive note and what mainstream won’t tell you: In the UK, Michael is the first artist to release music in dual disc format and his Visionary Video Singles of his “old” music is outselling other folk’s new stuff. “Don’t stop till you get enough”, which is nearly 30 years old, is in the top ten on their music charts. – MsMo

Roger Flip Flopping Once More

On Thursday, February 09, 2006 he claimed Michael Jackson was financially cut off from Prince Abullah of Bahrain:

“Jacko Kicked Out, Cut Off by Arab Prince. Jackson has been cut off and kicked out by Prince Abdullah, son of the King of Bahrain. He is no longer, I repeat, not doing it anymore — not funding Jackson, his kids and nanny in an extended stay in Bahrain.” Roger Friedman, Fox News 

Then he flip flopped again trying to cover his erroneous reporting, as after Roger made that bold declaration on February 9, 2006, Jackson was in Abdullah’s company once again. To cover his butt he then wrote a month later on March 13, 2006:

“While he shuttles around the world on Prince Abdullah's dime, the Neverland staff will be 12 weeks (without pay).” - Roger Friedman, Fox news

Which is it. First you said Prince Abdullah cut him off, now you say he’s living on Prince Abdullah’s dime.

Do try to keep your lies straight, as people are watching and your credibility at this point is non-existent.

Roger Flip Flopping Again

On February 23, 2006 he said Michael had snuck back into America once. On March 9, 2006 he said Michael was back home “after a nine month self-imposed exile” which would make a liar out of Roger once again as on February 23, 2006, he claimed Michael snuck back into America, just 3 months prior, which would have cut into the so called “9 month self-imposed exile.” 

Roger, once again, you’re not doing a very good job keeping track of your lies and are openly disproving and contradicting yourself. Here are the quotes fro m your column to prove it: 

February 23, 2006Interestingly, Jackson’s signature appears on the form changing attorneys, dated Feb. 21, 2003, which is odd since he’s been abroad since a one-day appearance in the U.S. on Nov. 23, 2005. Otherwise, Mesereau would only have seen Jackson in person at his own deposition in London last September at the Dorchester Hotel.  

March 9, 2006Attention creditors and the state of California: Even as his Neverland ranch has been shut down today by authorities, Michael Jackson is back home in Encino after a nine month self-imposed exile.

On March 13, 2006, he said Michael had been sneaking in and out of America undetected, “My sources remain steadfast in their resolve that Jackson had snuck in and out of Los Angeles last week. He did it last November without being detected.” – Roger Friedman, Fox News

Roger Being Nosy In Michael’s Finances

Roger counting and guessing Michael’s money under such circumstances, knowing the lies he’s written about him, is in very poor taste.

“That comes to $475,000, which Jackson does not have.” – Roger Friedman, Fox News

How would you know what he has and doesn’t have. You are sounding like a stalker. Are you feloniously scanning the man’s bank accounts or something.

Dubious Sources

“When I called The Hunting Lodge while Jackson was there, I spoke to someone else who was eating at a nearby table and had spoken with him. I asked if they had mentioned the Neverland situation to him. ‘Michael is here and he's happy. He doesn't want to get into bad things going on at home. That part of his life is over,’ this person replied.” -Roger Friedman, Fox News

So, you called Bahrain to spy on the man. Can you say stalker.

Roger Interviews Paris

Roger did a beautiful butt kissing piece on Paris Hilton, who is signed to his favorite label to kiss up to, Warner Bros. His article ingratiated so much that he got slammed on other sites for it:

1. “She is blonde on blonde, dazzling, Marilyn Monroe reincarnated”

Roger Friedman needs to be b**** slapped. HARD. asininehopes 2006-03-09 10:09 pm UTC (link) 

2. UGH, whatever. This is just another reason to hate Fox News. pillcake 2006-03-09 10:09 pm UTC (link) 

3. lol fox news, just another reason to roll my eyes at you. courtoownsall 2006-03-09 11:13 pm UTC (link) 

4. Ok, how much did the Hiltons pay this writer to portray Paris in a more flattering light? healthypanda 2006-03-10 12:26 am UTC (link) 

5. The passenger-side back door slides open, and a long leg, finished with a white high heel shoe, reaches down to the ground.

Y'all forgot about the running sores. hardly_angelic 2006-03-09 08:44 pm UTC (link) 

6. I have nothing bad to say about Paris Hilton at all. We are underestimating this kid. did perez write this ****? what an *** kiss. bleh. ahowar03 2006-03-09 08:44 pm UTC (link) 

7. Wow, Fox News likes her? amyannosu 2006-03-09 08:45 pm UTC (link) 

8. Career? What career? Being a drunken, snobby, boyfriend stealing, herpes giver? sonjablue 2006-03-09 08:45 pm UTC (link) 

9. As long as her ****** remains closed, we'll all be safe. servermonkey 2006-03-09 08:47 pm UTC (link) 

10. why must she inflict this pain on us? a cd? Aargh. imatreekb 2006-03-09 08:48 pm UTC (link)   

11. “I have nothing bad to say about Paris Hilton at all. We are underestimating this kid.” It's ok...all of here at ONTD have you covered as far as having something bad to say. We won't let you down. :) steph313 2006-03-09 08:48 pm UTC (link) 

12. She has not-so-nice things to say about her ex-pal Nicole Richie. They’re probably printable, but hey — this isn’t the Star. Psh. That's possibly the only thing that would've made this article interesting. ilikesidewalks 2006-03-09 08:48 pm UTC (link)   

13. i am in shock at dr dre working with her. but lollerz at her keeping screwed on the album, a+ bertie_dav 2006-03-09 08:49 pm UTC (link) 

14. I think he kind of lost most credibility when he produced ~Rich Gurl~ for Gwen Stefani :/ rusk 2006-03-09 09:02 pm UTC (link)   

15. i forgot about gwen, good point bertie_dav 2006-03-09 09:22 pm UTC (link) 

16. hahaa, I love your icon. ol3ander 2006-03-09 10:40 pm UTC (link) 

17. let's never, ever compare Paris Hilton to Marilyn Monroe again. and, I'm not even a big fan of Marilyn Monroe. thelastpauline 2006-03-09 08:52 pm UTC (link) 

18. Please stop these Monroe comparisons. kwong521 2006-03-09 08:52 pm UTC (link) 

19. I don't know much about Marilyn (so correct me if I'm way off base) but wasn't she pretty much the vapid h* of her time? She was way better looking than Paris, obviously, but they seem fairly similar otherwise. The only difference is nowadays it's more acceptable to let your *** hang out in public 24/7. Marilyn probably only seemed classier because she conformed to the standards of the 50-60's. styropor 2006-03-09 09:00 pm UTC (link) 

20. Hmm I wouldn't necessarily call Marilyn "vapid". She definitely slept around. But I think that might be the only thing the 2 have in common. Marilyn had a horrible childhood. She grew up poor & was sexually abused when she was really young. (Maybe that's why she was skanky as time progressed) But she worked hard to become a movie star and some of her films are enjoyable. (You do have to keep in mind the time-frame the movies were made) If you read some of the stuff she had written she is actually more intelligent than you would first think. blondekarma 2006-03-09 09:12 pm UTC (link) 

21. I don't know much about Marilyn, nor am I really a fan. However, going by the transcript of the psychiatrist tapes, she wasn't dumb at all. She referred to "Marilyn Monroe" as a separate entity, so I think it was all an image. bogie_bacall 2006-03-09 09:17 pm UTC (link) 

22. Every actress, even now was/is a h*. It's how they get the jobs. After they get star billing they don't do that sort of thing.And back in the 50s Marilyn was not considered classy. m_x_l 2006-03-09 11:13 pm UTC (link)   

23. As Paris said in this article, it's all a put on. Marylin Monroe wasn't even Marylin Monroe- her real name was Norma Jean (i think). Her whole persona was an act, she was playing the part of the blond bombshell right down to her name. sarcastic_twit 2006-03-09 11:32 pm UTC (link) 

24. WHY DRE? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? & I just lost all respect for Jadakiss... not that I had a lot for him in the first place. gun_music 2006-03-09 08:56 pm UTC (link) 

25. this article deserves an eyeroll. fluffyrainbows 2006-03-09 08:58 pm UTC (link) 

26. Wt* is that reporter smoking? kittymilkshake 2006-03-09 09:02 pm UTC (link) 

27. yeah right. how much did she pay so fox news could make her look *intelligent*. what a load of ***p. mx_girl 2006-03-09 09:02 pm UTC (link) 

28. is this article some sort of joke? youtoldalie 2006-03-09 09:06 pm UTC (link) 

29. Maybe they're right, the CD might be good. i go nuts when "Screwed" comes on at the clubs. thatshot 2006-03-09 09:11 pm UTC (link) 

30. only fox news would say something like that. summerofmandie 2006-03-09 09:12 pm UTC (link)   

31. Promising career indeed. Shame about the herpes. wholedamnturkey 2006-03-09 09:12 pm UTC (link) 

32. I am looking forward to the album, I wanna see if she actually has an ounce of talent, but I like 'Screwed' - it's fun. moi_electrique 2006-03-09 09:14 pm UTC (link) 

33. Stars Are Blind Well, at least she's honest. radiokink 2006-03-09 09:19 pm UTC (link

34. well duh its pretty obvious that she's turning on that stupid baby voice. her regular voice is way better and less annoying though... bikinikilledme 2006-03-09 09:25 pm UTC (link) 

35. Everyone, stop sucking up to Paris. She is not comparable to Marilyn...since the character (that's right) of Marilyn Monroe was the archetypal blonde, and an artificial character. Any intelligent and honest study of Norma Jean's life shows this. As much as Paris likes to claim she's a "classy broad" and that this is all her Lisa Douglas act, she is as see-through as some of the outfits she wears. kittentaboo 2006-03-09 09:47 pm UTC (link)   

36. let's give everyone a record deal! bounded_woman 2006-03-09 10:00 pm UTC (link) 

37. LOL imhomedawgest 2006-03-09 10:12 pm UTC (link)  

38. I'm kind of impressed that they didn't use any "U"s or "Wit"s in the titles. Minor victory for basic english! cupkate 2006-03-09 10:05 pm UTC (link)   

39. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=cognizant. pillcake 2006-03-09 10:13 pm UTC (link)   

40. This almost infuriates me. Comparing Hilton to Monroe? No. No no no no no. Nothing alike! m_x_l 2006-03-09 11:17 pm UTC (link) 

41. They did NOT just compare Paris Hilton to Marilyn Monroe. glamburglar 2006-03-09 11:28 pm UTC (link)   

42. Monroe and Hilton are alike everyone thinks they are stupid blondes who **** everyone and party and dress slutty. I can totally picture Marilyn saying "thats hot!" all breathy. Just because Marilyn is dead and an icon doesnt mean she wasnt the biggest slut in her day. Playboy? The "Happy Birthday Mr. President" song and dress??? and the ludes and liquor anyone??? androganus 2006-03-10 12:23 am UTC (link)  - Oh No They Didn't

Roger Gets Nosy In Whitney’s Business

Roger Friedman jumped on the Enquirer bandwagon, regarding an inappropriate story printed about Whitney Houston this month in said paper. By the way, if they wanted to help her, they wouldn't be trying to embarrass her like this.

She has a drug problem. Many people do. However, this is not how you help them. This is how you set someone up to be the butt of countless jokes for years to come. This is how you take someone's dignity over deeds done in the privacy of their home.

This is not shaming someone into changing, someone might I add who didn't do anything to you, but rather helped your family, based on your own admissions. It is invasion of privacy (what are you doing taking pictures of her bathroom without permission - and I can't fathom she said, "Hey, take these pics and put them in the tabloids").

I'm not justifying what Whitney or anyone else who does drugs do, but I just don't see how humiliating someone like that is helping them. People just don't have any privacy anymore.

Remember the Fourth Amendment. Remember U.N. laws that say people have a right to privacy in their own homes. Why are you violating that.

Then here comes Roger crassly printing her finances on the Fox News site in an unhelpful way - and to top it off, called a local lawyer to further extract gossip for his pathetic column. Why don't you just take it a step further and start listening in on her phone conversations and just post it in your column.

Yes Roger, we know you want to convince us you have connections and are in the know, but you end up trying too hard and coming across as a degrading meddler.

Once again, his column was strewn with deliberately misleading information and it was lacking important details that were left out.

His application of the Amazon chart was misleading, much like his embarrassing application of the non-final Hits Daily Double Chart proved to be weeks ago, as he chucked on the Amazon ranking with her actual record sales. Amazon only represents their sales ranking. That’s not the total number sold. It is what it says, a sales ranking.

This is the second time in weeks he has misapplied public information to his embarrassment and a public figure’s detriment.

Note to Roger: Learn to read instructions.

He had the nerve to compare Whitney to the untalented lip-syncer Madonna. At least Whitney can sing (have them sing one after another and the truth of just how bad Madonna is will hit you like one of Madonna’s Botox needles).

And as you alluded to, her battle with substance abuse does not negate her from being the greatest singer of her generation - regardless of what you think or wish. None of the women from her generation, especially Madonna, out sang her on any record.

If you want to go by that premise to disqualify mainstream musicians from their place in history, you'd have to disqualify Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, The Rolling Stones and Elvis - who all at one time or another engaged in drug use. I'd love to see you write some rubbish like that and kill any credibility you could ever hope to earn as a so called entertainment writer, to compensate for all the credibility you've already lost via erroneous stories, failed predictions, misapplication of facts and plagiarism.

And since you brought up their finances, at least Whitney isn’t a criminal ripping off hard working people’s copyrights and publishing rights every single year of her career, that you so touted.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Houston has investments in other arenas that you failed to mention, such as television and film. She has film credits where she starred and others where she produced.

She does have money coming in, unlike what you stated in your column, as any deals of that nature such as the ones she engaged in for film and TV produce continued revenue for years. And at least it’s honest money unlike your friend Madonna, who would steal the white off rice if she could and tell the public it was her idea.

Those Whitney projects still bring in royalties via DVD, cable and television rights.

And she has a back catalog of CDs that people are still buying – yes, she gets a cut of that Roger “he thinks he’s Alan Dershowitz” Friedman.

It may not be obscene sums of money, but it is money.

While you were snooping for gossip from the attorney, why didn’t you ask him for some free legal advice as in, where do artists get ALL their money.

Even better, be a thorough stalker and ask about Whitney in detail like you do about Michael all the time. You are worse than the paparazzi. They just want a picture (albeit, sometimes they kill people and shove small children to get it) you go snooping into people’s finances. You aren’t the IRS. What do you really think you're doing.

And while we’re on the subject of money. Has Madonna or Warner ever given you money to perform any services for them, Roger? You will be asked that question in the future. So prepare what you think is the best legal response to that. And do, unlike your column, see to it that your comments are truthful, as perjury is a dangerous thing.

SPORTS The Winter Olympics - Sasha Cohen

To the Brits: Am I the only one who thought Ali G was in the Olympics when they announced a skater named "Sasha Cohen." I thought to myself, "Self, what are the Olympics coming to?" Just kidding.

I used to think Cambridge was a school high on academics, but since I read Ali G went there, now I just think they're high.

That was a joke, as the actor behind the character went to the esteemed school. No disrespect intended to Cambridge.  

P.S. why does he speak with such a perfect Jamaican accent when in character. To a Jamaican it's quite stunning how much he got it right. Which Brixtonite taught him how to do that, as he is a Jewish man from Hampstead.

MUSIC Music Executive Wiretapping

According to Hits Daily Double, there are individuals in the entertainment industry still engaging in illegal wiretapping and throwing it in victims' faces:

WIRED FOR SOUND: The Anthony Pellicano case has absolutely captivated Hollywood and is shaping up to become one of the biggest Tinseltown exposes in history. It all stems from numerous phone conversations that celebrity sleuth Pellicano taped with a who's who of Hollywood movers and shakers. Interestingly, the fact that the taping of phone calls is illegal hasn't stopped one very high-level music executive from continuing to tape calls and to use them as part of his intimidation act. (2/22p) – Hits Daily Double

MUSIC Madonna Lawsuit

Speaking of music industry people paying to tape people's calls and trying to use it to intimidate them...it's time for the update on the Madonna lawsuit. And the harassment continues...which is why my Sounding Off continues on the matter.

Break-ins Continue

In last month's Column, I wrote about the break-ins we've experienced since this whole Madonna mess started, in what is usually one of Miami's safest neighborhoods. Three days after I posted the last Column, another break-in happened once again.

That made the 4^th time that we know of since Madonna started stealing from my catalog of already copyrighted works and the harassment and invasion of privacy began. I mention this because the people harassed by that small Hollywood set affiliated with Bert Fields all complained of break-ins to their homes and or offices (not to mention the Kabbalah cult's established court documented record of breaking an entry and property theft). The latest break-in occurred on March 3, 2006. I ended up having to call the police.

The local police detectives told my mother and I that they don't dust for fingerprints, as they don't have the resources to do so (a municipality of Miami containing 10,000 residents in a town that splintered off from the City of Miami). However, he said they'd shine a flashlight at the back of the house when they go around to do their shifts.

Then two weeks later, on March 18, 2006, an article was published in the Los Angeles Times about a harassment technique that was utilized by Madonna's lawyer's private investigator, where he jammed a knife in the lock of a business man's office to send him a message to shut up about something he didn't want made public. He also glued other locks shut at the man's office as a threat.

"Last year, Abramson said, federal prosecutors played her and her client a recorded conversation in which Pellicano urged Kalta not to fire another attorney in order to hire Abramson. "He said I was not a lawyer he could trust," Abramson said.

Kalta, however, hired Abramson, who brought in another private investigator.

After that, Abramson said, Kalta found the locks in his office glued shut. One of the doors had a knife jammed into a keyhole." - L.A. Times March 18, 2006

So, it's safe to deduce that there is a Hollywood harassment playbook on how to threaten and harass innocent people, as all these unrelated people are complaining of the same forms of harassment. So many incidents and people affiliated with that Pellicano case has shown this pattern of corruption for all the world to see.   

The first time they broke into my home studio. The second time they broke in and tampered with the electrical in the house. The third time they broke in and stole something out of my draw in my room related to my work and this most recent time, the fourth time (that we know of, anyway), someone broke in through the back, removed the core of the backdoor lock with something they used to pry it out that left a dent and a mark (a brand new door and lock, might I add, that the insurance company paid to replace) and placed the core of the lock on the ground in the door frame. I open the backdoor and there is the core of the brass lock, right at the edge of the door, staring up at me.

Another sick twist. A woman called my home about a week and a half ago and identified herself as someone from my local police department. I thought it was a customer service call asking about the detectives, as she asked me about “the detectives” conduct, who “came out to your property,” regarding the recent “attempted burglary.” I told her, “They were nice” and then she said “thank you” and that was it.

When I mentioned this to the Sergeant today in a follow up call I made to see how the investigation was going, he, Mr. Ramos, told me they don't do that and there is no woman in their department. He said it was probably apart of the harassment.

That's sick. How did they get my unlisted number. How did they know about the attempted burglary - if they weren't in on the harassment and the break-ins, that even though it's been reported to the FBI, still continues to this day.  

That's Hollywood for you...

And Hollywood wonders why the rest of the country (and world) thinks it's out of touch, with the morals of a sewer rat. 

Tom Cruise Tape Surfaces In Wiretapping Indictments

There's another interesting point I wrote about on the lawsuit page back in September of 2005 when I filed my lawsuit.

Madonna and Tom Cruise have the same lawyer, Bert Fields. I mentioned that Tom Cruise, another celebrity cult member leader, who has since been revealed as someone who has lost his ever loving mind, was quietly alleged to have tapped his ex-wife's phone. I read about this tip on the www.lukeford.net web site, which is like a blog as well. Luke, ironically like me, and anyone who publicly writes anything unflattering against certain famous industry turds and their affiliates (South Park, watch your back) have been harassed for speaking out about things involving these same crazy celebrities, their unfashionable cults and their affiliates. Ford reported:

1/13/05 - The day after I publish the above story (fewer than twelve hours later) and leave town for six days to Las Vegas, three men in plain clothes come to the house where I live. They flash LAPD badges to my landlady. They say they see my car. They want to speak to me. They reveal various information about me. She says I am not home. They want access to my place. She says no. They leave. I suspect they were fake credentials and probably people wanting to intimidate and harass me. ( http://www.lukeford.net/profiles/profiles/anthony_pellicano.htm ).

"Confessions On A Dance Floor" Continues It's Free Fall Flop

Confessions from the discount bin is more like it. Thanks to your efforts, Confessions has flopped. Her second flop in a row in her 20 year plus career, that was once successful (albeit she ripped off many people for 20 years to get those hits).

Ironically both flops contain works she ripped off from my copyrighted music, much of it on the internet years prior to her ripping it off.

“Madonna: Too old, too white and too English”

“Madonna: Too old, too white and too English. With a country estate in Wiltshire, a love for shooting and even a taste for Timothy Taylor's real ale, Madonna has become the epitome of the English lady of the manor." - The Telegraph 

“Madonna: Too old, too white and too English.” Well, that’s one out of three to young mainstream audiences  – that is, in that she is older (but I don’t deem musicians too old, however, she has thoroughly made a fool of herself trying to be a 21  year-old when she is almost 50 and she is not a musician, as she can’t sing well).  

Madonna is not English, as she doesn’t have a drop of English blood in her, nor was she raised there, nor has she lived there for any significant amount of time that would constitute being “English” (some immigrate from elsewhere and live most of their lives in Britain and are therefore British under that premise). And she is Italian, which in many countries is not referred to as Anglo-Saxon.  

By the way, people who love Britain don’t insult British people, falsely labeling them “lazy” and Britain’s hospitals “Old and Victorian” as she likes “efficiency.” 

However, Madonna trying to comprehend her failure, again, has come up with the nonsensical, non-reality based explanation that her album bombed because she is, “Too old, too white and too English” 

You keep telling yourself that…

For proof: 

The Music Industry Holding The White Man Down?  

Jessica Simpson is an Anglo-Saxon American and sold 3 million copies of her latest CD. But then again, she isn’t fit for psychiatric review like Madonna is. 

James Blunt is Anglo-Saxon and English and is doing well in America. He hit number one and is getting loads of airplay. He is popular right now.  

Coldplay are Anglo-Saxon Brits and they’ve sold a truckload of records in America (and around the world) and received massive airplay. 

Ageism…No 

As for her whining about her age being the reason America has tuned her out, white artists like the vocally gifted Rod Stewart and Barry Manilow have been enjoying sturdy sales over the last year – but then again – they can actually sing. They've been relying on their voices. Madonna doesn't have that to fall back on.  

Is It The Rappers Fault Or Payola Deal With NY AG? 

Then Madonna and co blamed it on rap music in the article stating, “American radio is only interested in R n B and rap these days." That is not true. Pop, rap, country and R&B have gotten airplay and sales.

Have you stopped to think that maybe since Warner signed the order with the New York Attorney General to stop using payola, a criminal violation of the law, to get records played a lot, your records among them, it has diminish your once inflated radio airplay. Your records stink. Get over it, already.    

Public Reaction

As internet posters have written on numerous sites, Madonna needs to “accept the fact that her glory days are over” as she has declined into an excruciating level of self-embarrassment in ripping off younger artists and pretending she is 21, when she isn’t. 

She should have quite 5 years ago. Then her legacy wouldn’t be in tatters now and would not suffer the continuing deterioration and indignity it is and will continue to experience.  

All this derivative, stolen music she is putting out that has audiences saying they don’t need music that she ripped off from others, such as “the likes of Kylie Minogue” as they already bought Kylie’s music, isn’t helping.

Her gross lack of originality, which has been publicized now more than ever in the mainstream in the last year thanks to multiple copyright infringement lawsuits, coupled with her sick behavior that has audiences across the board and all over the internet calling her “lunatic,” “nuts,” “insane” and “crazy” among other things, is to blame for her drastic sales declines.

In a related, but humorous story:

Madonna Publicly Claims Relation To Duchess Camilla Parker Bowles

This story was indeed the funniest, most desperate news of the month. Madonna made the crass public announcement that she believes, she is related to Duchess Camilla Parker Bowles, and that she wants to get together with her to have tests done to confirm it. Apparently, someone has told her that they were related over 400 years ago.

That genealogist is more of a salesman than Paris Hilton’s acting coach who told her she and Charlize Theron have similar acting styles and will be, “Vying for the same parts.”    

“Madonna surprised Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall when she phoned to tell the British royal they are distantly related.

The 47-year-old Hung Up hitmaker, who has also discovered blood-links with Canadian singer Celine Dion, is urging her ‘relations’ to join her and genealogist William Addams Reitweisner in their quest to trace their entire family tree.

Reitwiesner explains: “Camilla and Madonna are both descended from Zacharie Cloutier, who lived from 1617 to 1708, and Camilla and Celine descend from Jean Guyon, who lived from 1619 to 1694.

“Both Jean and Zacharie died in Chateau-Richer, Quebec. Because of their unusual French-Canadian ancestry, they are all blood relations.” - Breaking News

There is something very dubious (and hilarious) about that story. It was reported in another article that Celine was “mortified” to find out she is possibly related to Madonna. What does Madonna do, sit around all day and find a way to connect herself to more famous people than she at this point in time for more publicity.  That explains why she has no time to write and keeps stealing songs (I doubt that she ever could - writing one line of a song doesn't count). 

Said genealogist went back 400 years in history in a desperate reach to link Madonna with Duchess Bowles. Ok, first off, if you go back that far, you may as well say you're related to Adam and Eve. Although, I think Madonna is more related to the snake in the garden. 

Madonna is reaching so desperately to say she is British when she is not. At least on my genealogy page that has been on this site for a year and a half, I didn’t claim any craziness like that. And at least I have English blood in me from both sides of the paternal side of my family, one was even a British sailor (my mother likes to call him "the pirate" to tick me off). His  name was George.

Is Madonna Related To The Mafia

Is Madonna related to the mafia…literally:

“Los Angeles Times writer Anita Busch has been looking into the federal indictment of reputed Mafia captain Anthony (Sonny) Ciccone on charges of extortion and threatening to kill actor Steven Seagal.” - Los Angeles Times 7/12/02

Her real name is said to be Louise Ciccone. Based on Madonna’s  lack of respect and observance of civil and criminal law, both domestic and international, her willingness to steal from and harm innocent people, I think her roots truly trace back to the mafia (no disrespect intended to Italians, as all Italians are not Mafiosos. The Mafia aren’t even 1% of the Italian population worldwide).

Had the genealogist made the announcement that Madonna’s roots trace back to the mafia, no one would have disbelieved that, as she continually rips people off and was publicly written about twice for choking two people, one of them a kid. 

Not to mention, Madonna shares the same uncommon last name of Ciccone as the above mentioned.

As most genealogists know, when it’s an uncommon name, shared between two people, they are most likely related. How did the genealogist who traced Madonna back to Camilla, 400 hundred years ago, miss such a current link with a man of the same uncommon name today.

“Steven Seagal, 50, had a partner named Julius Nasso, who prosecutors claim was a Gambino crime family associate. They had caught Nasso on tape agreeing to force Seagal to pay $150,000 to the crime family for every film Seagal made. This agreement, valued at some $3 million, was to be executed by Anthony "Sonny" Ciccone who tried to extort the money from Seagal at a restaurant.” – Crime Library 

Another similarity between the two – illegally trying to get a cut out of movies they have no entitlement or rights to. Genealogists would call that a family trait. 

Madonna is clearly ashamed of her Italian, non Anglo-Saxon roots. However, the general public has always referred to her as Italian. There’s nothing wrong with being Italian. She barely traced her Italian ancestry back a week, but went back over 400 years in Canadian and French history to try to claim relation to Camilla Parker Bowles.   

A universal chuckle was heard all around the internet when Madonna and said genealogist made the vulgar, socially inappropriate announcement regarding Duchess Bowles. A few internet excerpts:

1. Madonna and Camilla Parker-Bowles are related? – Popsugar

2. Obsessed with genealogy = self-importance, and in her case insecurity to prove she's not descended from Sicilian peasant fisherman, that's why. And if you go back far enough, anyone with European roots is eventually connected. Who cares? Bar | Homepage | 03.14.06 - 2:21 pm | #

3. She's probably related to the King of Queens. pricolatino | 03.14.06 - 3:23 pm | #

4. She’s just trying to make us all think that her fake British accent is authentic even though we all know she is from Michigan. | 03.14.06 - 3:16 pm | #

5. Esther Kaballawhore becomes evermore bizarre: you know Camilla and Charles had a really good chuckle at this. MizRo | 03.14.06 - 2:45 pm | #

6. Hmm, lets do the math... I figure 5 generations per 100 years x 400 years = 20 generations. So she's at most, what, Camilla's cousin 20 times removed? Damn, Charles is probably more related to Camilla than Madonna is. anon-anon | 03.15.06 - 2:53 am | #

7. Only a classless t*** would call up a member of the [related by marriage to the] RF (and my favorite one, to boot) and say that they're related. Now she'll probably put some fabricated coat of arms on her next album. so*******loverly | Homepage | 03.14.06 - 1:52 pm | #

8. Madonna is SO DESPERATE to buy/cheat/lie her way in to upper crust British society! Seriously! She comes over here, starts wearing tweed, riding horses, talking in a stupid accent and she thinks she’s lady muck! YOUR HUSBAND IS A MOCKNEY T***. Go away. Sorry, but my Mum, the Queen, hates her. 4Queen&Country | 03.15.06 - 4:33 am | #

9. Madonna is far from British. She has forgotten about her roots in MICHIGAN! libgirl | 03.14.06 - 1:47 pm | #

10. Yeah, mines gone to. REPEAT:Whopdee do. Just because 300 years ago you were related to future royalty that does not make you hot ****. If that logic follow, I'm the Chancellor of Germany. Lose the accent, and quit forcing our eyes to your crotch! Jess | 03.14.06 - 1:53 pm | #

11. "She needs to spend more time on her singing lessons than finding this kind of **** out." LOL TROOOE STORIE! Fug. | 03.15.06 - 9:02 am | #

12. "Tally hoes" Hey, that should be the new term for any celebrity who tries to "go British" what should we call those (like Jolie and Pitt and Depp) who "go European?" Anonymous | 03.15.06 - 10:41 am | #

13. What, her Italian roots are no good anymore? Why doesn't she trace her father's roots? Not fancy enough? Libressa | 03.15.06 - 1:31 am | #

14. Quote: "I had no idea she had Brit blood - I thought she was 100% guido."

She doesn't have "Brit blood"; Camilla and Madonna are both related to Zacharie Cloutier. Cloutier is a French name. Anonymous | 03.15.06 - 2:06 am | #

15. That story is a lie. Madonna looking for publicity. Anonymous | 03.14.06 - 9:07 pm | #

16. I'm a genealogist, and I can tell you that, if you go backwards more than about six generations (or less than 200 years), it's pretty much worthless to say that you're "related to someone" because at least 10,000 people are also related to you (and to that other person), so it dilutes it. Or, to put it in layman's terms: BIG ******* DEAL. BTW, I'm the "missing link" between Zsa Zsa Gabor and Dolly Parton, as I'm distantly related to both. WHEEEE!!!! Phimphy | 03.14.06 - 7:03 pm | #

17. Did Madonna just look in the white pages to get Camilla's number or something? I can't imagine people just giving out the number of the UK's future queen. GrappleHooks | 03.14.06 - 4:03 pm |

18. I hope Madonna stops the genealogy ***p really soon....I'd hate to discover that I was related to her. EdwardVIII | 03.14.06 - 3:38 pm | #

19. Madonna's roots are actually dark brown. M | Homepage | 03.14.06 - 2:56 pm | #

20. You can trace Madonna's roots to the Walgreens at the corner... aisle 12. pricolatino | 03.14.06 - 2:37 pm | #

21. Mummy told me that Papa Carlos is descended from "Queen Isabella of Spain" which she said makes me a Princess but Papa Guy said Papa Carlos is descended from "Tony Montana of Cuba" which I don't really understand but it made Mummy mad enough to use the "F" word...Lourdes Ciccone | Homepage | 03.14.06 - 2:32 pm | #

22. Madonna needs to chill. She's a world famous pop star and there's no need to attach herself to other rich and powerful people. At times, I think Vadge suffers from a wee inferiority complex. GrappleHooks | 03.14.06 - 2:17 pm | #

23. i so totally hate this old hag. skinny fat | 03.14.06 - 2:18 pm | #

24. this is just another attempt by Vadge to become British...and boy is she aspiring high...related to Her Grace Camilla and by proxy the English Royal Family...not of two cents would they ever claim her! nia | 03.14.06 - 2:07 pm | #

25. As I have said before, she is determined to find a way to become Lady Madonna. Loozer | 03.14.06 - 1:54 pm | #

26. I HATE when she tries to talk all British...Eddie Munster | 03.14.06 - 1:44 pm | #

27. Why is Vadge so fascinated with her family history?! - Dlisted

From another site:

Madonna says that she and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, are related through distant lineage…

Madonna apparently phoned The Duchess to inform her of this oh-so-exciting bit of throwaway trivia. Can you imagine that phone call? Ahhh dahlings, you don’t have to imagine! With my sooper seekrit agent ways, I managed to score a transcript:

Madonna: “Hey Camilla! It’s Madonna.”

Camilla: “Excuse me?”

Madonna: “You know, Madonna. The Artist.”

Camilla: “. . . I don’t . . . know anyone . . . by that name . . . ”

Madonna: “M-A-D-O-N-N-A. The Singer. The Actress. I called to tell you that we’re related - I mean, we’re practically sisters!”

Camilla: “Who the b**** ******* ***l is this???” Click. – Agent Bedhead Blog

Diana got the better deal, being related to Barbara Cartland –beautifulatrocities

Madonna Fabricating Controversy

“Madonna maintains youth cred by making obscene gestures in her since-edited music video for Sorry. Alas, flashing all the victory meat in the world can hide disco crow’s feet.” - Gawker